Notes to self as I parent today:
Connect…then direct.
Instruction can only thrive in the soil of authentic relationship. Before offering instruction, consider how to touch the child gently. Think on how to frame all instructions in the context of a loving, affirming relationship.
If instruction bears tensions then check out the soil: perhaps the relationship needs fertilizing. If the relationship has been well cultivated and nourished, and instruction still yields resistance, perhaps offering more opportunities to practice receiving and implementing instruction may nourish the young shoot towards a joyful attitude.
Questions to self: Am I making eye contact? Am I touching? Have I nourished this relationship? Am I connecting before directing?
Love, what did I say?……
And will you obey?
Asking the child what was said allows the child to offer feedback to ensure they did indeed hear the instructions.
Then, does the child intend to do what was asked?
By what is inspected,
They’ll know what is expected
Our children need to hear it as much as the faithful servant needed to hear it: “Well done, good and faithful servant!”
Questions to Self: Am I bringing closure to an instruction by joining with a child to inspect the task? Am I being faithful to finishing that which I began: I gave the instruction, did I inspect?
And thus a few lines for self to recite, poetic parenting:
1. Connect… then direct
2. Love, what did I say?
And will you obey?
3. By what is inspected
They’ll know what is expected.
Connect…then direct.
Instruction can only thrive in the soil of authentic relationship. Before offering instruction, consider how to touch the child gently. Think on how to frame all instructions in the context of a loving, affirming relationship.
If instruction bears tensions then check out the soil: perhaps the relationship needs fertilizing. If the relationship has been well cultivated and nourished, and instruction still yields resistance, perhaps offering more opportunities to practice receiving and implementing instruction may nourish the young shoot towards a joyful attitude.
Questions to self: Am I making eye contact? Am I touching? Have I nourished this relationship? Am I connecting before directing?
Love, what did I say?……
And will you obey?
Asking the child what was said allows the child to offer feedback to ensure they did indeed hear the instructions.
Then, does the child intend to do what was asked?
By what is inspected,
They’ll know what is expected
Our children need to hear it as much as the faithful servant needed to hear it: “Well done, good and faithful servant!”
Questions to Self: Am I bringing closure to an instruction by joining with a child to inspect the task? Am I being faithful to finishing that which I began: I gave the instruction, did I inspect?
And thus a few lines for self to recite, poetic parenting:
1. Connect… then direct
2. Love, what did I say?
And will you obey?
3. By what is inspected
They’ll know what is expected.
Lord, my mothering needs You. It is that simple. Please come.
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