She loses what's hers and comes plaintive, begging where it might be, and I send her looking under chairs, the second shelf of my library closet, perhaps under our bed, her father's far side?
And her mournful cry, bay of hound on the hunt, draws out the brothers, and she tugs one end of the couch and he grunts the other. Only a few stray dust bunnies, lost too. She's still hopeful. She digs under cushions, directs him to check book baskets by rocking chairs. And when he turns up nothing, she tells him to look behind all the doors. She's piling back couch cushions.
He's at the back door when it finally occurs to him, to him who has been searching high and low too. I'm dicing up the orange roots, bent in the kitchen with the broth already bubbling, when I hear him call from the mudroom.
"What is it that we are looking for anyways?"
I laugh long over carrots.
Oh my, yes. He comes laughing too, sheepish then knee-slapping. We crack-up, notion of searchers seeking and not finding but not knowing the sought.
I laugh, yet isn't it the way that I've lived? Harried and frenzied, haven't I wildly searched, only to realize I don't really know what I seek?
I just keep running. I just keep racing. I just keep rushing.
When do I slow down, stop, ask:
What is my life frantically looking for?
That would be important to know.
Because I can't slow down a life until I know what it is I seek.
Until I know why it is I race.
When I know what it is I'm looking for, I realize I don't have to run frantically about to find it. I actually have to go slower to find it. I don't have to keep relentlessly keep chasing. I actually will have to still, to sit. I don't have to grow weary. I have only to wait.
God's here, Spirit shaping this space. Is there anything else to want?
I turn off all the square, glowing screens.
I don't have a cell, a t.v., an mp3.
I let the answer machine greet all callers, take their calling cards for later conversation.
I know Whom I seek. I'll have to slow down, light a lamp, sweep the moments carefully, search attentively, until I find Him. Every moment holds Him, if I slow to see.
He's discovered in the quiet.
I focus, try to, even in the whirl of here and children and life.
I scratch down a line or two of ordinary life.
I pluck a note or two from common time, call it poetry.
I let music play.
I light a candle.
I try to remember to laugh, to find the humor.
I keep a pot of tea on.
I leave a Bible open, anchor.
I find a rhythm, a way of seeking, a way of working... a way of praying. Ora et labora. The laundry, the dishes, the beds, the floors, these have a harmony, a gentle tempo in time. Daily work is not drudgery or pressurepacked, but cadence and beauty. This work is our slow dance with God.
The outer world can drum with its own driving beat. Slow is the rhythm of inner time. Slow is a frame of mind. A soul can always sing slow songs.
Still, too often, I glance at the clock, scan the to-do list and jolt: hurry children, race again, pound the track hard with the tasks. But I'm discovering: Racing means I don't know what I'm looking for. Racing means its time to remember what my life seeks. He can't be found in the flurry.
Again... slow....
I give thanks for the gifts to stay present to the presence of God right here.
I sing a hymn.
I meditate, turn over Scripture.
I make, create, daughter living like Creator Father.
I slow down a soul to seek Him with my whole heart. The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these, hearts not hurried by the false construct of time.
She finds what she's looking for and brother cheers and her mother, Lost Child, slows and seeks carefully, finds Father.
The angels sing.
:::
.... a few slow down prompts from Ann Kroeker's latest book: Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions...
~ Stare at something beautiful. Stare for a long, long time
~ Go outside with your kids and a magnifying glass and look at things
~ Sketch something
~ Paint something
~ Write something
~ Look at some stars
For more slow down prompts, consider reading Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions...
Related in the archives: Unframed Art
Every Wednesday, we Walk with Him, posting a spiritual practice that draws us nearer to His heart.
To read the entire series of spiritual practices
Next Week: Consider sharing in community, "How to Find Rest in a Racing World"
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