When the wall of the uterus contracted tight four years ago, sides of the stomach hardening like a basketball and the veins all pulled taut blue, I had pounded his chest, fist banging bone.
Pain cramped hard and I thought the legs might give way. Farmer Husband had held me as the the skin stretched thin and he had leaned in close and brushed my ear with words.
“Smile – you don’t know when you pass this way again.”
I had smiled.
I had inhaled and I had smiled.
Because hadn’t I wanted this desperately, begged God for our sixth? And now I was heavy with child, in the throes of labor, wrung out with exhaustion and here I was pounding on his chest, pounding for a way out.
Did I really want the gift?
Slowly I spread the fingers out on his chest. I push hard into him and we look into each other’s eyes and the contraction comes and we smile. We breathe and we smile. In between uterine waves, we lean into each and yes, we even laugh.
Who knew if we’d ever pass this way again?
The pain and the labor is part of receiving the gift.
Four years later, the child that pain and laughter delivered, she sleeps down the hall in a mop of happy curls. I stand by the kitchen window and the wind rattles the brittle branches of the maple stripped bare.
This season I am in these days, it blows hard and I feel the pain and the labor and I’m wrung out with the exhaustion and I think the legs might give way.
I press my hand against the cold pane and feel December. I remember to breathe. I remember to smile. I prayed for a time such as this, with these children and this husband and this life, and I am tired and I am weary, but it comes and I can see its reflection in the window.
A smile.
Because there is no passing by this way again.
This labor and pain, it's part of receiving the gift.
:::
I smile, breathe, give God all thanks for the endless gifts....
farm and family and faith
love
Taking a trio of brothers to the country hardware store with heads full of dreams
Him carrying a chainsaw
Where’s Willy and Caleb’s happy tracking of currency and people
Wool socks
Epiphanies
healing in His wings and the scab wizening to a scar
first snow
Unannounced callers and dust
Her wet sleeves after washing potatoes
community, you, and laying low grace
Prayers with my sister
Embracing Angry children
Theological conversations with those who are not-like minded
Trains of corn wagons headed to the elevators
inboxes tucked full of wisdom and grace and crazy love
Sleeping dogs
The UPS delivery man
Grosgrain ribbon and perfect bows
Real stone castles being built in the basement – with sand and glue and gravel and imagination
Young fingers playing Christmas carols
Heat wafting up the registers
Hope -- our girl, and what Jesus gives
Hourly watch
multitudes on a Monday... #1285 - #1303
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How to begin your own 1000 Gift List ::: How Gratitude Can Change your Life
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Cheryl at Moms in Need of Mercy
Kim at What's Up Bird
Laura at By the Bushel
Thia at Harvest of Pearls
Rhondi at Rhondi's Rose Colored Glasses
Kerrie at Sea Kettle Diaries
Melanie at Newlywed Nomads
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Photos: family at the winter fair
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