Fixing the One Disorder that We all Have

Dear Babies I have Bore,

You teach your Mama and she be slow.

Every day we throw back the quilts and we do life together all day in these four walls and you six children teach this one hard heart what it means to love.







Thank you.

For learning your Mama --- what it means to show grace, to step over negativity, to bite the tongue, to hold and soothe the sadness, to work on when tired, to pray more fervently, to wipe up the ugliness with love, to cover up the sinnning mad with the embrace tender, to learn to do love the only way love is real: unconditionally.

It isn't always pretty. Every single day, many times a day, I fail.







But Love doesn't. Every way of living, every paradigm, every philosophy, every thing, that attempts to function apart from the righted love will unequivocally fail.

There is only one sustainable, enduring force to be found in the whole of the cosmos and it is sacrifical love.

And to think that even I get to participate in that kind of forever God-power, right here and every day! The one thing that will outlast the stars and when I fail, He doesn't and His love can't fail, and His love helps me up again, brushes off the bruised knees, points the way, and I get to learn what it means to sacrifice -- and because of each of you!







Augustine considered sin a matter of "disordered love" -- all sin the love that isn't rightly ordered, the love gone wrong, turned wrong, become wrong. And this house may look disordered and upended but you beautiful children are teaching me how to order the love right, to love the things unseen more than the things seen.

Absolutely everything in the world is love, even the most vile of sins, but it is a love disorder, the passions upset, disordered, twisted, and the work of a life is to reorder the love, right the love again, turn all things towards the True Lover.







Today again you children will teach me the language of the Kingdom that will never pass away, and today again I'll learn love, the reality that will never pass away and together we will work on rightly ordering love and I don't know if I ever really would have known it in the skin and the bone, the awe of the sacrifical love, without the love of each of you.

I can already see your smiles, hear your laughter, when we sit down for the swirl pink cupcakes today, each topped with one sweet red heart.

You're making my heart that too.

Be my Valentine?


Love,
Your always-and-forever-grateful-for-you- Mama



Related Posts I'm revisiting from the Archives:
Soaking up the Ugly with Love
True Priorities: Things Unseen



Photos:  by my sister, Molly, swirly pink love at her house
Share your thoughts?
If you would like Holy Experience posts quietly tucked into your reader or your inbox for free...