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When Your Spirit Hungers: How to Be Done With Worry

A Holy Experience
We are created with a Spirit Hunger that longs for God.  Is it possible to turn worry into belief, and heartache into the rhythm of intimate prayer?  In her book and Bible study, Spirit Hunger, author and speaker Gari Meacham came to the stark realization that her prayer life and belief needed to match. Her guest post today on the farm porch is grace

I have slept in the same t-shirt for over twenty-three years.

It’s a shirt my baseball playing husband wore when he played for the Kansas City Royals.

At the time my son was an infant—he now has a college diploma hanging on his wall, and I feel like I’m finally breaking this shirt in.

I’ve been known to sleep in it, jog in it, and some days spend the entire day in it.  A part of me chooses cozy over presentable, easy over effort.  I love this shirt, but I’m always hoping I don’t see anyone when I’m wearing it.

Sometimes I think I wear my belief in God like a bathrobe or soft jammies. 

Although I may be comfortable in my pj’s, I’m not my best in them.

When it comes to faith, I have to get out of my jammies and believe.

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Deep within my desire to believe is a Holy Tension that tugs towards fear, doubt, and worry.

This tension has led me to some stifling places where worry snuffs out prayer.

The Spirit Hunger within me longs to trust, but I masquerade instead.  I pretend pray-realizing that what I think is prayer, is really worry with a few God words at the beginning and end:

“Dear Father, worry, worry, worry, worry…In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

What I often whisper as prayer is a sliver of faith wrapped in a blanket of panic.

Worry restates negative trust in fearful outcomes. 

It’s the belief that what I dread will be the outcome of what I pray.

What if we get traded or reassigned?

(We moved forty-seven times in our first ten years of marriage in pro-ball!)

What if our marriage falters in the wake of temptation or deceit?

What if our kids suffer or struggle in ways I can’t intervene?

What if we can’t make it financially?

The tension of what if creates a drama in my head so intense I could put Hollywood to shame.

When I was raising teenagers my friends and I would joke that we could have our kids from the front door to the grave in about fourteen seconds.  As they would leave for school each morning or for a night out with friends, I would shout, “Jesus loves you! Make good choices!”

Essentially I was saying “If you get hurt or anything happens to you, I don’t know if I can bear it—so be really smart and careful, or I’ll fall apart!”   I spent many a night “worry praying” my way through the hours until my kids were safely back in their beds, sensing that worry is like a rocking chair—it consumes a lot of energy and takes us nowhere.

An author I love says “It’s not only wrong to worry, it’s infidelity.

Because worrying means we don’t think God can look after the practical details of our lives, and it’s never anything else that worries us.”

I’ve pondered and played with this statement, and firmly decided “No more cheating on God…”

Standing at the intersection of belief or worry – of trust or a fretting snub – I’ve vowed to pray.

I pray breakthrough prayers when life beats me into a compliant daze. Like Hannah on the steps of the temple, I cry out to the God who rebuilds shattered reality.

I pray vision prayers when my sight is blurry and unfocused-seeing black and gray instead of yellow and white.

I pray defining prayers as I beg for God’s clarity in the midst of paralysis. His “Get up, take up your mat, and walk…” when I feel like I’m destined to crawl.

Jesus’ invitation to ask, seek, and knock is far more interesting.  So with determined resolve:

I’ll ask instead of worry…

I’ll seek instead of fret…

I’ll knock instead of run…

And don’t look for me in my pajamas.  I’m wearing a new faith, sewn from the threads of a holy tension that gave way to faith.

 

 

~ guest post by Gari Meacham … {photos by this farm girl}


Gari Meacham is a mother, writer, speaker, and baseball wife.

Her passion for the Word of God has made her a popular speaker throughout the country. Through the authenticity of her life stories –marriage to a professional athlete, struggles with food bondage, and a father who was a quadriplegic– she invites readers to a heart cry of prayer and belief.

 Check out her book Spirit Hunger  — each page provides a clear path towards matching our  heart cries  — leading away from crumbs and counterfeit to a real hungering for God.

Order The Greatest Gift

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Order The Greatest Gift DVD Study

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Order Unwrapping The Greatest Gift

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