Conversations
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moreWhen Thanksgiving & the Holidays Just Seem Hard
On Wednesday, November 21 st, 2012‘Whatever.” The Wednesday morning before turkey and pie and black Friday flyers, I wake up to this smothering of fog and this teen muttering it through the kitchen: “Whatever.” And what do you say but that’s not quite the way to start off the day, and he shrugs his shoulders and slams the bathroom door behind him, and I get it. ...
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morewhen life leaves you with more questions than answers
On Thursday, September 06 th, 2012Only a few more weeks left now. That is what the Farmer says at dinner, what he says as we clatter dishes off the table, the enamel plates all stacking and clapping for the cook. Only a few more weeks left and August will dip the beans fields bronze and the leaves will reluctantly fall off the beanstalks and just the pods will then dangle, the only rattling ornaments hanging of...
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moreWhen You’re Broken & Don’t Know Where to Go:
On Thursday, August 30 th, 2012When she was standing there in the spring, under the blaze of the blooming trees, I could remember 13. I could remember the burn of the unfurl, and how the becoming sears, and how does a mother help a daughter light? How does a woman be a light? We had walked down to the water’s edge. ...
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moreThe Light We Need to See Everyone In
On Friday, July 27 th, 2012Been praying this week for Amber and Seth Haines and their little Titus. I’ve been memorizing Sermon on the Mount, all of Matthew 5-7, with these earnest folks (and a whole community of memorizers!), and God’s got us on a journey. Seth, a lawyer, a mighty fine writer, good husband and praying father to four future men — he guest posts here with a few needful...
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moreWhy Now is the Perfect Time
On Friday, July 06 th, 2012On the way into town, the boy told me the wheat was about ready. And I look across to the west and all those gold heads swaying yes — and I look over at him, elbow resting half out the window and all July’s heat blowing in, and none of this was supposed to happen this way. The Farmer had said yes, if any week would work, he had said this one would...
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moreWhy You Really May Need to be Done with Safe: Being a Dangerous Disciple of the Unsafe God
On Thursday, June 07 th, 2012My Gran, she’s taking slow walks outside the hospital now. Her heart’s growing stronger, beating certain. I wash down the cupboards in the kitchen. I pray for Gran’s heart attack recovery, for each step she keeps taking, ninety-one and frail-boned and Irish-determined. Life’s a risk and maybe she’s stronger than I am, accepting each heart beat, ea...
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morewhen you wonder if you disappoint…
On Thursday, December 08 th, 2011Sat down with my Mama last night, her hair falling like snow straight down. She had put this bowl of them out on the end table — these dried rosehips. They rolled between the fingers perfectly, these whole worlds. I kept popping them between my fingers… between my words. “So much….” pop…. “I am just not…” pop…. “getting at all right.” “Like?” M...
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moreWhen You Desperately Want God to Hear Your Prayers
On Wednesday, November 02 nd, 2011When we buy her two pygmy goats for her birthday, who knew how big faith could get? We bring them home in June in a mini-van with no air-conditioning. Two miniature goats neighing back and forth — on the laps of two boys making jokes about something warm running down their legs. “We do need to name them,” the birthday girl announces. She strokes on...
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morewhen it’s hard
On Monday, October 17 th, 2011Mama had the tea ready. I had on the socks that the woman with the 5 kids and the stage 4 cancer knit me. This is always first thing: to go right into the throne room of God wearing nothing less than your aching prayers. Anne’s on time for our early Saturday morning Bible study at Mama’s, sitting at the end of the living room, there in the wingbac...
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moreHow to Get the Most out of A Day
On Monday, August 29 th, 2011It’s a scant harvest of sweet corn this year. The rains deluging in spring, then giving up it’s obsession with us come June. From my post at the stove, out the window to the south, there the Farmer bends and bowsover the cornstalks like an offering, the only way a life can reap a harvest. The Farmer brings in cobs and the kids husk it back to kernels, to the nugg...
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morefiguring out how to forgive {your parents}
On Wednesday, August 10 th, 2011When I carry our first babe home from the hospital, I carry him home alone. The Farmer can’t get off work. He works for my Dad. There were reasons why – there was a crop of corn to get in the ground. I understood that. Understanding though didn’t mean that some of the sadness didn’t spill. I did keep brushing it back, all the way out to t...
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more“There is but one cure…”
On Thursday, June 02 nd, 2011It’s long after I turn the last light out. Long after that I hear the back door open and close. That I hear the footsteps. “Hey…” Who comes in through the door, comes in from the dark? “‘Night, Mom.” Ah… his voice. Firstborn. “You okay?” I can hear him lean against the railing at the top of the stairs. “Yeah…” He can’t know that M...
