fear
-
morewhen you need peace …
On Tuesday, September 06 th, 2011So ends come, and beginnings too. They always come together those two —like friends trusting each other. The summer that was, it ends, slips behind us, and we’ll all spin a bit further around the sun and how do I know if I’ve followed you out on enough limbs yet? I love how you grin and lean. I think I’d like a few more bare foot days ...
-
morebefore you get to walk on water…
On Thursday, September 01 st, 2011Sometimes you just have to get into the boat. Because getting into the boat comes before you get to walk on water. Every miracle always begins with the first ordinary step of faithfulness. So I clap as they launch and they grin, us at this edge of beginning. ...
-
moreThe Real Weather Forecast for the Weekend
On Friday, August 26 th, 2011He says he can feel it, the way fall’s beginning to blow in, the sky all undecided. She stands at the sink, elbow deep in suds and steel pots, while he tells her about weather. Tells her about patterns and forecasts and radars and frontal systems. The Farmer follows the sky the way some men follow sports. Staying up late, following the ways of God… She scrubs potato...
-
morewhen somedays seem like a struggle…
On Friday, August 12 th, 2011It was right up there, after the woman in the buggy turned a corner. After she turned a corner and passed the humility of wheat, the sheaves bowed and surrendered. After she took one long breath and released her grip and let the reins lie loose across her open palm. After she’d just decided that, wherever this road l...
-
morethe beauty of living in glass houses
On Monday, June 27 th, 2011I sit before this screen like a held sparrow with her pulse pounding her whole body loud — so scared. Scared to unbutton a bit of my skin and bare this one beating heart. I used to fly; I remember this. How to unfold winged hope and enfold the wind in free-falling trust. I remember thinking the sky all empty space. This can make a sparrow brave. I re...
-
moreBreathing through the Hard Thanks
On Tuesday, March 01 st, 2011Afriend comes to the door last night, hauls in over the dog laying flat out on the front porch, and she stands there in the entrance beside the piano — that’s because we have no where else for a piano, but who minds walking right into music? — and with her hand resting there by the ivories, she tells me that in the midst of it all, she’s working on brea...
-
moreOf Jesus, Comfort Zones & the NYTimes BestSellers List
On Monday, February 28 th, 2011I hear it on Sunday, thinking the preacher’s looking straight at me, me trying to look away: “When God moves us out of our comfort zone —- into places that are way bigger than us, places that are difficult, hard, painful —- that even hurt — this is a gift. We are being given a gift. These hard places give us the gift of intimately knowing God in ways that would neve...
-
moreHow To Fall in Love With God
On Friday, January 28 th, 2011The farm boys stand at the brink of The Falls and watch the slabs of ice slip over. “Remember Paddle-to-the-Sea , Mom?” Caleb asks me over the water thunder. Malakai and Levi are peeking through the ice swirl of the wrought iron railing to watch what happens at the edge of the world. Caleb’s smiling. “Can you imagine, Mom?” I shake my head. The c...
-
moreWhy We Need Listen to the Inner Voices of Creativity
On Friday, January 21 st, 2011When it’s time, I know. I can tell in my bones, the ways the knees ache, those joints with a clock of their own. I drag my fingers tired through the hair, back from the temples, and I survey the room of the sprawled out legs, the stacks of books, the balls of yarn, the half deck of Rook scattered, and I sigh smile. “I think it’s time for bed, folks.” They cheer wild. Ra...
-
morehow to begin a new year
On Monday, January 03 rd, 2011Every dawn is Day One. A new beginning. And gratitude is what makes the past a grace, here holy, and tomorrow a gift. On New Year’s Day, we wake to rain. The Farmer wraps his arm around me in the dark. “Hear it?” He whispers the words close. The window panes, the roof, they’re thrumming quiet with everything coming down in a song. “Mmmm…. ...
-
morenever fear shadows
On Friday, October 08 th, 2010I write about secrets. I read the comments — startling wisdom, aching pain, desperate struggle. I hurt for all the long ago girls. For Mama. I think: what have I done. I call my Mama. “But remember what I told you? Remember what I told you a long time ago?” She has hymns playing in the stereo. I can hear praise in the background. “Remember that I sai...
-
moreWhy it Really is Worth it to Tell Your Secrets
On Thursday, October 07 th, 2010My Mama was diagnosed with split personality disorder and my dad loved me more than her. We all split. I remember how my heart did, how the shards drove into everything. How bearing secrets made the breathing hard. My mama nods now that it is all true and no daughter should ever feel that and no mama should ever live knowing that and… There are things a family never break...
