On Thursday, October 07 th, 2010
My Mama was diagnosed with split personality disorder and my dad loved me more than her. We all split. I remember how my heart did, how the shards drove into everything. How bearing secrets made the breathing hard. My mama nods now that it is all true and no daughter should ever feel that and no mama should ever live knowing that and… There are things a family never break...
On Thursday, August 19 th, 2010
When Lissa Turscott slid down her bus window and whipped that baseball hard, I felt the thud in my back and the smash of my heart and I hunched over to catch the pieces all shattering. I heard her friends all slapping her back in congratulations as the bus moaned away. Some bruises break the vessels skin deep and others just break souls and Lissa and Judith and Alexa&nbs...
On Saturday, July 17 th, 2010
I’m over here this weekend… Wouldn’t it be grand if you came to visit? I think there’ll be good food on the menu! Share your thoughts? If you would like Holy Experience posts quietly tucked into your reader or emailed to your inbox for free…
On Saturday, June 19 th, 2010
When I carry our first babe home from the hospital, I carry him home alone. My husband can’t get off work. He works for my Dad. I cry.Please read the rest over here… (I’m looking forward to listening to your voice & stories & wisdom in the comments over there…)
On Saturday, May 08 th, 2010
The grain mill whirs loud, crushing a stream of kernels. I stand in the kitchen by an open sack, grinding the wheat to bake the bread, to break the fasts. Since the beginning, since the dawn, this, the work of women, the feeding of children. The sun rises. And I have to ask it straight out…. Why then do I feed my kids scraps off the floor? Please read the rest of...
On Friday, April 16 th, 2010
I turn the last child’s light out and I slump down a door frame and I cry quiet in the dark. The mother grief scalds the cheeks but what washes away the mother grime? I’ve become the parent I knew as a child. The one I looked straight in the face and fierce vowed I’d never be. But my ears ring with the echo of my voice, that voice: Can’t you see what a mess this i...
On Wednesday, March 03 rd, 2010
After he slings the van door shut, the silence offers an open embrace and I drop my head heavy onto the steering wheel and I wrack sob. Why do I ask to be good but I don’t act good? Why does sin sabotage and this skin seep with the festering stench of self? Why am I broken and why can’t I change and why do I not do the good I want to do and wretched mama am I…. I ...
On Saturday, January 02 nd, 2010
The New Year wears hope like a fragrance. I watch a new day of the first month of a brand new year come, breaking up over the horizon, up through hopelessness, there on the rim of our fields and the scent, fresh, carries in on the wind… carries me. Unspoiled winter stretches across our fields — like an unfurled year awaiting new ways of walking. How will I trek o...
On Saturday, December 26 th, 2009
What spending Christmas in a barn really teaches me … and it really excites me! Please find me over here today? Photos: newborn piglets in our barnShare your thoughts?…If you would like Holy Experience posts tucked into your inbox for free…
On Tuesday, November 17 th, 2009
(with return of our internet server, I whisper) They were happy tears but he didn’t know that, in from morning barn chores and those mama sows, finding me in front of the world’s flickering screen. Those man hands stroke my hair and that always gentle whisper brushes my ear, “You sad?” And I shake my head and the words quaver, hardly knowing their way. ...
On Monday, November 16 th, 2009
Iwake wanting to die. Scarlet light bleeds over the horizon, another day aching in. I lie in bed. Pull covers up over my head. I’m withered dry and even the tears won’t fall: a heart drought. …. continued… Read me over here today, please… (and for a giveaway for some furniture vases of your own) Would you like Holy Experience delivered to you quiet...
On Friday, October 09 th, 2009
Oh, what a man can do to a woman…. and a woman to man. Read me over here today? (But only if you’re ready for some Song of Solomon….) Photos: Farmer Husband’s working hands…Share your thoughts?…Would you like to sign up for more quiet thoughts via email?…